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LOVE's at-risk teenagers attend photojournalism classes in excellent facilities across Canada. The youth learn to think about, write about and take pictures about the causes, impact and prevention of violence. Through their writings and photographs, they learn how to replace anger and disappointment with self-esteem and a sense of purpose. These photographs and writings are also used in our newspaper, ONE LOVE, in our books, "LOVE Works!" and "The Courage to Change: A Teen Survival Guide" and are blown up on boards and are used in our School and Community Outreach Presentations. Here are just some examples of the powerful and realistic writings from LOVE youth across Canada.
I Stopped Beating Everyone Up I had the courage to change one of my problems, and I am extremely proud of myself. It was the hardest thing I had and will ever have to do. I stopped beating everyone up and feeling sorry for myself. I grew up. I saw a different path, an easier path, a path without violence. At first it was only physical violence. It took me three years, but I did it. It was hard, but I did it. Now I'm seeing a whole bunch of other paths. Paths without verbal violence and without emotional violence. Better paths that everyone should take and I want to help them make their change.
I Am Love
I am love.
Finding the Courage to Live
Andrew, 16, Montreal I look at the Scissors and think I look down at the Building and think I look down the Barrel of a gun And think. I think Why kill myself What purpose does it serve? People say It takes courage To kill yourself But I say It takes courage To live.
When the Abuse Is Over
Anonymous, Halifax It all started when I was younger. When I was 1 1/2, my mother marries this guy. She thought that she was so in love and that he would never hurt me. He always used to tell her that he would protect me and never hurt me through the whole marriage and even longer. Well, he lied. He used to beat me all the time and molest me every day and every night. My mother used to always be gone. I wouldn't be allowed to leave the house unless I was gone before she left. It was so embarrassing because he used to do my friends. Well, there were two more. It was so embarrassing for me. They would never stay at my house and were basically scared to talk to me. He always threatened me, saying he would kill me. That made me even more scared to say anything. The years went by and life seemed harder to live. He was an alcoholic and making my mother into one. All that they ever worried about were cigarettes weed and liquor. I always wanted a real family. The abuse finally stopped the Christmas of my twelfth birthday. I was so happy. The abuse was finally finished. I also didn't have to say anything because he did. I went through two years of court to find out he got three years. Now, ever since, I've tried to kill myself, knowing I was too stupid to say anything. I always try, but never succeed.
Sick
Mohammed, 19, Toronto I'm so sick of it. I am so sick of having to get high to enjoy life. It's so sad. I'm going to waste because of this drug habit. I can't even stand up straight anymore. This artificial high is pathetic. I pop a pill and enjoy the next three hours of life, only to get depressed and feel like I want to die later on. Coming back to reality is the worst.
My Life
Anonymous I used to call my life paradise. I had the perfect family. Parents that never argued. A perfect little brother. What could you ask of more? But to have great friends. I had it all. Til one day it all collapsed. My perfect life was no longer Perfect. I became anorexic. I lived through a depression. I cried myself to sleep. When I thought things could Not get worse. They did. My teacher died, my parents got divorced. If that's not bad enough, The person I trusted most Let me down, treated me As if I didn't exist. Things will never be the same As they once were.
Strays
Anonymous, Halifax With nothing to say, my mind goes astray as I sit here and watch these little kids play. They run around so free, but one day they'll be like me. Their mother and fathers are just to scared to see. Will they look them all up. Will they put them away. Will they kick them all out and let them run as strays. Their going to kick and scream. Their going to steal and smoke. Some learn it's bad when their young, but the rest is still a joke. Don't hold it against them. Let it lay as it may 'cause I think we all know the world changes everyday. Life is a bitch you learned it when you were young. You were once a teen - you know what we do for fun. Yes I'll admit some of us are out of hand but that's the way we were raised - we don't understand. We will all learn in time we will get our lives straight we will find a way to let go of all our hate. We just need some help we can't do it on our own 'cause we'll go into a dark place where we will be all alone. Don't push us away 'cause life is hard these days and I find there's too many people living life like strays.
Recovery
Semira, 17, Montreal Since I've experienced violence of every medium possible, and learned some of the secrets of the universe, I've been able to distinguish between abusive situations and powerful, good ones. I've learned to become a stronger person, knowing what I truly value - productivity, having a task, cleaning my mind, my soul and my body. It's been a huge roller-coaster ride, stepping off of it by being detached from single events. Whether good or bad, I don't indulge in them. I've been able through backup resources such as books, articles, and other people, to foresee danger, the potential for someone to be obsessive, violent. I now have a critical mind. I've been sexually abused. I've been mentally abused. I've been verbally abused. I've been physically abused. I am not alone and this reassures me that life goes on. I've been sexually abused so many times that there is still more I need to deal with about sex and feelings about sex. But I'm no longer lost in my thoughts, and I'm using my clarity as a tool to help others and help myself. I am incapable of expressing myself verbally as much as I'd like to. My physique has recovered, but I smoke cigarettes, so I induce my self-destructiveness. All abuse stems from fundamental problems that haven't been dealt with.
Free
Melissa, 15, Toronto People think we live in a world of freedom. How can this world be free when there is so much hate for one another? People feel that all they have to do is kill and the hatred will go away. But what they don't know is that by killing, they just bring more hate on themselves. How can our children know that they are doing something wrong? They feel it's all right because they see it happening everyday. So right now, this is not a free world. It won't be until violence and hatred stop.
Cold Eyed In the Stillness
Amber, Halifax Wake up and remember A dark silence settled in our souls Skyscrapers and peace are falling crash through hearts and we must bury the brave but live with the sadness Lights go out as lives are taken white doves fear to fly Disappearing angels inhale the dust of destruction while we bring babies into a world that burns their ears We tear at the beast as hate spreads like fire spilling blood onto the hands of our leaders The fragile grace of human spirit clings to the quiet touches the broken crumbles and smolders like the wreckage Tears fall to the feet of our world We all walk through the sorrow As the world turns the sun and rain beat down nation against nation stare cold eyed in the stillness but cannot look at each other
My Life
Ali, 15, Toronto My life sucks because I am short and fat. Ever since I was born, I have been verbally abused because I am different from other people. My brother, sister, mom, and friends all make fun of me because I'm short and fat. I'm 14 years old, 4 '10" and 100 pounds. I don't have muscle; I have a light fat that makes me look so big. Why can't I be treated like a normal person? I've had it up to my nose with this nonsense. It's driving me crazy. Kids like to pick on me in my class because I'm short and tubby. Even my teachers sometimes make fun of me. I thought teachers were supposed to help kids, not pick on them. I've had about 100 fat nicknames. This brings my self-esteem down to a very low level. Some kids who are going through the same as I am think dying is the only solution. I ask myself, "Why was I ever born if I'm only made fun of?" This is my so-called life.
You?
Naomi, 15, Toronto Here I am curled up in a corner. The darkness covers me like a blanket. My fears overwhelm me in my time of weakness. Images of times long ago flood my head. Who will lead me out of this world where pain rules? You? The sky trembles above me. The blue is taken over by darkness. The sun's light fades away. Rain falls softly and turns into a flood within minutes. My hair is floating above my face. Everything about me is wet. I laugh at the gods above me. The pain within me screams out in release. I feel so small inside, with a light within me. I think of all the love the world has to share, I wonder where I would be without it.
You Can Get Out
Joel, 19, Montreal To all the kids out there in the streets causing havoc, I know how you feel. I know it's hard for you, you feel picked on my society. You feel like victims of stereotypes. What can we do about it? There is a lot we can do, but we are doing it wrong. By doing what it is you do out there, whether it's stealing other people's things, doing drugs, or just picking fights, it makes the situation worse. We are not helping our cause, we are doing exactly what society thinks of us. So why don't we realize this and prove these stereotypes wrong? Let's get our education, get jobs, and become the society so we can put an end to these stereotypes. It's hard, I've been there. I have also made it out of there.
Mother
Anonymous, 18 When I ask you for help, mother, why don't you help me? When I shed a tear, mother, why don't you ask me why? When he strikes me, mother, why do you leave me? When you see me in pain, mother, why don't you attempt to heal me? When the agony is overwhelming, where are you, mother? When I scream for you, can you hear me, mother? When I disrespect you, mother, can you understand me? When I want to hit you with the kitchen chair, mother, ask yourself why. Do you understand me, mother? When I most need you, I can't find you, mother. When I ask for your help, I want it. When I shed a tear, I want your attention. When he hits me, I want you to see. When I hurt, I want your healing. When the agony is overwhelming, I want you to hold me. When I scream, hear me. When I hate you, I love you, yet when I love you, I hate you. I need you mother.
Why did it have to Happen?
Miranda, 16, Toronto I was so little at the time, When you committed this awful crime. It didn't have to turn out this way. If only you had loved me the proper way I'd still be with you today. Why did it have to happen and why me? You made it hard for me. If only you could see. Out of all the people in the world, Why your daughter? No matter what, You should have been charged with manslaughter. You probably think I'll forget about it Later on in life. If you think about it, My memories will be full of strife. I'd rather you be dead. But they said you could live instead. On your windows I hope you like bars, Through them you'll see only stars. You're like the pollution that's in the air By screwing up someone else's life, which isn't fair. Why did you have to do this And why me? Your were never a father to me And you never will be.
Teardrops of Blood
Jesse, 17, Montreal Teardrops of blood come from the sky, They slowly caress the side of my face Leaving read streaks smeared against my cheeks. The cold red drops of humanity destroy the barriers All walls of my innermost emotional thoughts. Like acid they burn through my chest And pierce my heart like 1,000 hornets Stinging my eyes, I see no longer. Teardrops of blood ripple in the Puddles of humanity, urging to be heard. My clothes rest stained with blood On the ground as I lie here naked Crying my tears of blood.
Making All the Decisions
Kate, 22, Toronto All alone making all the decisions… No help from the one I love. He says, "Oh, I'll get a job, I'll take care of you and the baby." It's like waiting for a miracle to happen, and as they say, "A watched pot never boils." I tell myself I don't need him, I can do better or I can do it on my own. But deep down inside I think so much differently. All alone making all the decisions… He says, "I'm coming to see my woman tonight." But oops, he bumps into a friend, "I'm sorry baby, I got drunk." I say to him, "what? You got too drunk to call?" I mean, what's gonna happen when his baby comes? Is he gonna say, "I'm sorry son, I bumped into a friend and got too drunk to come and see you?" I don't want the same lifestyle for my child as I lived. I want so much more. If I have to do it on my own, without him, then I will. I will love and give to this child Unconditionally, but MY LOVE can only go so far. All alone making all the decisions… Can't say that I didn't try, because I tried a lot. I tried so much that I cry myself to sleep. When does the hurting stop? I don't think it ever will. "Whichever way it turns out," I say to myself, "I don't think negatively, you're not that kind of person, you'll do the nest whether it be two or one. You've tried and that's all you can do, besides being strong." All alone making all the decisions.
Outsiders
Amber, 17, Halifax WE Are the outsiders We Have many names: THE LEFTOVERS THE OUTCASTS THE MISFITS We don't have any place to belong. To you, we are invisible. You look past us. We do not exist. We have no feelings. We haunt the outskirts of your world. We don't have as much of a right to live as you do. WE are inferior Lower beings. We Are not worthy of acceptance. We Do not deserve a glance. We Are put on this earth merely to endure Your whispers and your cruelty. We Are here for you to judge and alienate. WE Are here to feed vicious rumors. WE Are here to be laughed at. ONE DAY YOU WILL SEE US AND THAT WE ARE NOT THAT DIFFERENT AT ALL.
When Will it End?
Angie, 17, Vancouver Sick and tired of this stupid family life. Yelling and screaming When will it stop? Angry parents all the time But why? What did we do? What didn't we do? Do we really deserve this shit? I don't deserve it So why does it happen? Why? Why? Why? I hate it! Don't know how much longer I can take it Unacceptable actions Unnecessary force Knock! Knock! Knock! Freeze! Put your hands behind your head!
Intertwined
Christabel, 17, Vancouver Once my mind was Intertwined With a man born under A fire sign. Logic gave evidence That fires combined Equaled resonance. However, my true eminence Had no residence within Such walls. I walked naked Through these halls. As this door closes The next one opens.
Getting Out
Sheena, 16, Vancouver Once I was a junkie; But now I am clean. I used to think I was Hardcore and mean. I used to slash everyday; If something didn't go right Or go my way I have chosen to change my life; Now around me, I have no strife. I realize I did nasty things To try and be cool; Like smoking weed And not going to school. Few of my friends have helped me out; But unfortunately now, They're the ones messin' about. My friends have showed me the way Out of drugs and alcohol and how to stay Now I am completing my homework, And going to school; Now that is what I think Is really cool.
Darkness
Nicole, 17, Vancouver A twirling, swirling Hurricane of pain into The mouth - darkness. Pure, raw emotions of The unconscious lashing Out at unsuspecting Victims. Cyclical warning signs Of pure chaos setting Off all the internal Flags of morality that Something is wrong. All the voices in my head All the uspoken voices From your head. Where is the mouth of darkness? How can you shoot the guilty Without becoming the monster? Our souls area place Of innocence that is ruled by corruption We put up with so much, But the only unbearable thing About life is that nothing is Unbearable.
What do you See?
Amanda, 15, Montreal When you see me Who do you see? Someone who's laid back And just shooting the breeze? When you look at me Do I look strong? Or like someone who does Things that are illegal and wrong? When you see me What do you think? She's gotta be sassy With an attitude that's thicker? When you talk to me Do I seem bored? Like I know too much And I just keep it stored? I know the answers To all the questions you ponder So please don't judge me While you sit and wonder. You don't know me So don't judge What you see.
What Bullying Really Does
Anonymous, 16 What do you think of when hear the word "bullying?" Do you just see someone picking on someone else? Have you ever thought about what bullying really does? Have you ever thought of how bullying makes the victim feel? I was bullied. I still am bullied. Bullies have made me feel like shit. Little by little, they stole my self-esteem. They diminished my self-esteem to the point where I pretty much had none. Bullies cause their victims to have a very distorted and negative view of themselves. Nobody needs to put up with this negative image and extremely low self-esteem. I started questioning why I was here, if I even deserved to be here. I started seriously thinking about suicide, even tried it a couple of times. When that didn't work, I kind of realized I didn't want to die, so I turned to the vicious cycle of self-mutilation. All of this and suffering from depression that was brought on by bullying. So think about the next time you think bullying is just picking on someone. It really is theft of one's self-esteem. Remember that the scars you don't see are usually the most damaging.
Dizzy and Lost
Brigit, 17, Montreal Laughter surrounds me Eyes judging me All the year long I do not belong I'd be happy to be free Free from humanity Laughter surrounding me I'm just going dizzy The tears blur me The world is so dirty And very messy I just want to hide 'cuz I'm just a joke They look and me and laugh Laughter surrounding me Eyes judging me I do not feel free I do not belong I'm very far gone.
The Struggle
Emile, 17, Toronto Here I stand in a barren land That is meant for no man I wake up each day To see the sky still gray And I try every day Still can't get away This place - I want to leave But no plane, I can conceive Here I sit while insanity breeds Wanting to die and smoking my weed Each day eats me up, from the inside I run and try to hide Drugs used to get me through the day But they're what turned my skies to gray So I try to understand Why I am here and who I am No answers can I find They must be blocked in my mind The flesh is willing But my soul is dead I need to stop and rest my mind But I have no time There is no other choice I have no say or no voice Here I sit, tired and bleak I feel so weak I fear soon that I'll break Is this my fucked up fate? So, here I sit and time goes by Waiting for the day I'll die.
(I can't get rid of this line***)
Beauty Desiree, 18, Montreal Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. So they say. But who is the Beholder? The person who holds and projects this beauty, this personality, this aura, this soul? Or the one who perceives this personality, this aura and this soul in others? Do they both have the power to flex, shift, shape and mould this subjective issue that so defines destiny and fate in our space and time?
I remember
Pat, 14, Halifax I remember when I was left out in the cold. When no one would talk to me except my family. I thought that cutting myself and getting high were the only things I could do. When all I did was chill with my cousins and getting drunk or smoking up. I remember when I fought for everything I knew. I didn't know what to do with my life. I remember when I got popular having not to just listen to my cousins but my friends were included to. I remember when I was in a gang running with my boys. Always fighting for my reputation. I remember coming to the LOVE program and turning my whole life around. | |
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